Tailspin
by mabelreid
Summary: One shot tag to "God Complex" Reid's in a tailspin and there's only one person he can truly confide in.


**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n this one shot is set right after "God Complex."_**

"Spencer."

Reid flinched and nearly dropped his cup of coffee. "Hi, John."

John reached for a cup and eyed Reid closely. "You okay?"

Reid jumped again and some of his coffee slopped over the side. He hissed and shook his hand. John handed him a napkin and stood there silent and grim.

"What?"

"I'm concerned. You were twenty minutes late and you sat in the back right on the aisle like you needed to bolt at any minute. You didn't share tonight and that's not like you."

"I'm okay. I just didn't have anything to say. Is that alright?"

John didn't flinch at Reid's angry tone. What happened at meetings, stayed at meetings even near acts of insubordination with a superior officer?

"It's fine. I just thought you might like to talk."

Reid looked down at the steam rising from his cup of coffee. Suddenly, even the smell he loved wasn't enough to entice him. He put the white, Styrofoam cup on the table and turned away.

John followed him out into the October night. The chill in the air made him pull his coat tight. The wind pushed at his back rather than slapping his face as it had done when he'd arrived for the meeting.

"Spencer," he said.

Reid turned and leaned against the building. He pushed his hands into his pockets and hunched his thin shoulders against the cold.

"I met someone," he finally blurted out.

"That's wonderful. Why haven't -?"

"This is something I can't talk about, even to the guys in there."

He pointed to the door as if it held the answers to the secrets of the universe. John put his back to the building's wall and looked up at the starless night.

"Spencer," he began. "I appreciate your right to privacy, but I've noticed how your behavior's changed over the last six months. You're happier than I've ever seen you, and I can tell you're headache free. I haven't said anything because I figured you'd confide in me or the group when you're ready."

"John, I can't -"

His mentor and greatest supporter held up a hand. "I figured that out, but I hope you realize that you can come to any of us, including your team for help, if you need it."

Reid shivered and hunched up his shoulders. "Can we go back inside for a minute?"

"Sure."

The meeting area was deserted except for two police officers who smiled at them and left with coffee cups in their hands. Reid headed straight for the big, stainless steel container of coffee.

John took one of the chairs at the back and Reid sat across the aisle from him when he had a fresh cup. "I met this girl - I mean woman, or ah, a doctor, a geneticist six months ago. Actually, we've never met; we just talk on the phone every Sunday. Her name is -"

"I don't need to know," John interrupted. "I'm already pushing my luck just asking you about all of this. I can see it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sorry."

Reid relaxed his arms and slouched a little in his seat. "It's okay. I'm getting used to it. Garcia already figured it out and she told Morgan I was acting squirrelly, so he interrogated me on the plane. That was after Alex asked me all these questions just because I wanted a ride to a pay phone to call -"

"Slow down," John held up his hand. "Start from the beginning."

Reid took a gulp of his coffee, choked a little because it was still boiling hot and looked at his shoes. "I sent her a copy of my MRI. I was tired of hearing the same thing from, doctors, that my migraines were most likely psychological. I knew something was wrong."

John nodded, "Go on."

"So I started doing my own research. After I sent her my MRI, we talked and she advised me to take B2, Riboflavin and Magnesium, and to make sure I get enough sleep. She was right, because my migraines are gone. We just sort of started talking to each other and…"

"What is it?"

Reid pushed his hair behind his ear and adjusted his watch. "I can't talk about it."

John raised an eyebrow. "You know I'll keep it to myself."

"No offense, John, but you are my superior officer and if I tell you about what I discovered, you'll be obligated to act on it. You might even be angry with me."

"I'm not your superior, here, Spencer. You should know that by now. I just want to help you."

Reid sighed and pulled at his sleeve. "It's my fault. I talked to her today and tried to get her to let me help her with him, but she refused."

"Who's he?"

"I don't know. He's the reason I have to call from a pay phone and only on Sunday.

"What kind of trouble is she in? Is someone threatening her?"

Reid got up and went to the coffee machine. He got another cup and stood there with his back to John. "I don't know, John. She won't tell me anything. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts down. She started crying today when I tried to talk to her about him. She said she couldn't let him hurt me. I couldn't stand hearing her cry, but I'm afraid. Oh, not for myself, but that he'll hurt her."

John got up and put a hand on his shoulder. Reid looked around at him and saw that John was smirking at him.

"Don't laugh at me."

"I'm not laughing at you. I think it's great you love someone."

"I don't love her," Reid squeaked.

"For a profiler, genius, and an expert in body language, you don't understand the human heart very well."

Reid just stared at him uncomprehendingly. "The heart is a muscle," he finally said. "It pumps blood. It's just superstition that the heart is where love originates. In fact -"

"Spencer." Reid's mouth snapped shut at John's glower. "Love is love, and I'll bet you're not freaking out because you love her and she just wants to be friends."

"How did you know?"

"Let's just say I've learned a thing or two about behavior in my life. What happened?"

"We were talking and I said that we'd talked three times that week without - well without trouble and I wanted to try it again. Then she started to cry and said she couldn't let him hurt me and I said goodbye and she said bye, love you."

"Oh."

"What does that mean?"

"It means, Oh," John said with another smile and he waited.

"Alright, I freaked out. No one but my mother ever said they loved me." He went back to the seating area and threw himself into a chair. "It's illogical. We've never seen each other. We've only ever talked on the phone. I don't know what she looks like and she said she's never tried to find out what I look like. It's ridiculous."

"Why?"

Reid glared around at John and his cool and calm tone, "Because it is. Love is a function of brain chemistry. It's not some mystical force that resides in the heart. It can't be trusted."

"Why not."

"John!"

"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be difficult," John placated. "Love is something everyone experiences, if they're lucky. I've been hoping you'd be lucky too." He patted Reid on the shoulder again. "Don't let your brain talk your heart out of life's most extraordinary gift."

"What am I supposed to do? I'm afraid for her."

"Why don't you be her friend for now? Show that you're there if she needs you. If you find that you need the Bureau's help, ask your team. I'll do what I can from my so-called lofty perch, if you need it."

Reid smiled. "Thank you, John."

"You're welcome. So how does it feel?"

It was Reid's turn to smirk a little. "I don't know. It didn't hit me until she said it that the feeling I've had for months was - well I guess it is, love. It feels like - well I don't know because I've never really loved anyone. I want to be with her and talk to her all the time. I can't concentrate on work. I'm terrified that something's going to happen to her and it'll be my fault. If she's my, well, I guess my girlfriend; I should be able to protect her."

"You'll figure it out, Spencer, if anyone can."

"I hope you're right."

"I am right. Come on," he pulled Reid to his feet. "Let's get out of here."


End file.
